Pictures are optional right?

(This is a repost from my other blog, but I don't think I've updated it here... and it actually applies to my hobbies.)

So those who know me well have probably had some brief encounter with my security blanket. Yes, I still have my security blanket from when I was little. I refer to it at my 'itchy blanket' because it was... so itchy. It has red crocheted poinsettias in hexagons all over it. It should probably be a Christmas blanket, but rules like that don't apply to children and emotionally-dependent adults.

I got my blanket sometime when I was 2 or so. It was a source of comfort and love, especially when my little world collapsed. I would worry at the white fringe on the sides and wonder if I would ever worry the fringe right off. (Once I even cut off some of the fringe, in a not-so brilliant attempt to detach myself from the object of my obsession.) I have grown old enough now that the fringe is starting to fall off pretty much on it's own.

For the longest time I thought my blanket had been made in a store. I didn't look at my blanket long enough, nor did I know very much about crochet. It had been magically produced somehow and I thought it was perfect. Fast-forward 20 years and gain a world of knowledge about crocheting and I began to realize that my perfect blanket was not so perfect after all. One hexagon is bunched and warped because it has too many stitches, and none of the center circles are the same. I can put my whole thumb through one and I can even manage my pinkie in another. Suffice to say, the person who was following the pattern: didn't.

I still love my blanket. However, the neurotic side of me is distressed by all the problems and imperfections in my blanket. (I am also worried that someday in the future my blanket will disintegrate and I will be clinging to only a few strands of puff.) Knowing now that my blanket came from a pattern of some kind I look on the internet and find a woman on etsy who has a similar blanket for sale. "Can I have the pattern?" I ask after relaying the love and growing concern that I have for my own blanket. "No." Is the returning response. "But the pattern is found in McCall magazine #."

(Side note: This response upset me somewhat. I understand that the woman is on etsy to sell her product, I don't understand withholding the pattern. If someone wants the pattern, they want to recreate it. Presumably, they enjoy the craft and want to spend time making the product themselves. Withholding the pattern is not going to make them want to purchase the product from you. If they are stubborn, like me, they will go about it in their own DIY way. Perhaps there was some copyright laws about it... but I was still miffed.)

I am of sufficient DIY-ness that I refused to hunt down the pattern (my husband did hunt it down, but then that's his way.) What I did was stare idly at my blanket for months. I slowly reconstructed how it was made in random moments simply because I wanted to know. Then something snapped. Perhaps it was the year's supply of yarn in my possession (I am not kidding. I have promised myself no more yarn until I have used up what I have.But you all know how that's turned out. Not too awesomely well, but my new stash is AWESOME.) or the need for my hands to do something while watching General Conference Started during October... dropped and neglected for a month or two. I began making my blanket.

The colors are very different, the gauge is slightly so and the pattern... maybe not exact. What I do know... I am learning more about my blanket than I knew before. Another 'itchy blanket' is beginning to form.

Center circles: 32/32
1st round leaves: 32/32
2nd round leaves: 32/32
Finished hexagons: 9/32

Another thing? This new blanket might be able to accomplish what no other blanket or object has ever done. Replace an old obsessive need with a new one.

I've updated the stats since the original post, I am much closer to finishing. And since I am vaguely lazy, I decided that Alpha is going to get the blanket. Then I am going to steal it from him.

Day 2- Fungly #2

Day 2 is an exciting day! It's the 3rd official post of Hat Hell 2011 (I will say the prayer again, please don't let there be another one) and the 2nd hat featured. I give to you, Fungly #2, Fungly #1's bigger, little sister.

Made almost exactly like Fungly #1, Fungly 2, bigger and better, features a top cap of black and a little black flower. (I ran out of fungly yarn near the end and didn't want to rip out all of my hard work and so I used black. It goes with everything. Then I added the flower to balance the color out.) As you can tell, it's a cap for a girl or a very, very secure boy.

I actually took a picture with this hat as per my introductory indication. I can't claim to take bad photographs when I am not even the one taking the picture. Dad took the picture.

There I am. Doesn't Fungly #2 look cute? The flower is perched slightly askew.Don't I look so cute? (I'm hiding my many insecurities right now.)

Oh well, I can't pass up the wonderful story I have about pictures and insecurity. I have the mindset of an anorexic, even if I do act on my mental disorder. I can fit into petite sizes and so I intellectually know I am not fat at all, but I still am a little insecure about my chin area. The soft curves that reveal I am indeed a woman drive me absolutely bonkers. So, when I care, I do my best to minimize the double chin. Once for a very important presentation for college, I and other seniors were photographed. All the other seniors had engaging pictures being taken of them looking at the audience. My picture? It was taken while looking at my notes (which I didn't do often) and it was taken from the side. It was one of the most unflattering angles ever. It was a bad photograph of me, but it didn't even do me the justice of appearing like a bad photograph. It was a well-taken, unflattering picture. My insecurities about doubled (ha-ha) that day.

Anyway, there I am in all my adorable, insecure glory.

Day 3: Tomorrow Dad models the ribbed look. And the day after.